Random Reminiscence (pt. 1)

From November 24, 2005 ...

So the other night I headed down to BW-3's in a town called Lewisville (about 30 minutes south of Denton) to hang out with an old friend and watch some college basketball -- and then something amazing happened.

I went to the bathroom for a routine trip, all without incident. However, as I was washing my hands, I noticed a short, pudgy little kid waddle in and head to the urinal. This kid was probably about 7 or 8 years old, with a Jose Canseco-esque mullet, complete with blond streaks to contrast with his dark brown hair. I thought nothing of him and proceded to dry off my hands. Then, he spoke. (note: I promise, these are all direct quotes. No embellishment necessary.)

"Hey buddy, want a tip?" he asked very calmly as he took care of his business at the urinal.

Somewhat suprised to have this kid strike up a conversation, I hesitantly asked, "A tip?"

"Yeah, you know, like ... information," came his matter-of-fact reply.

"Well ... sure," I said, still somewhat unsure of what advice this young man might possibly have that would warrant an interruption of precious urinating time.

"Don't eat a lot of buffalo wings with spicy sauce, or you'll be having a rough time on the toilet," he said, his masterpiece of wisdom finally unveiled. He continued, "I found out the hard way."

Unable to say much without laughing hysterically, I managed a quick reply. "Well, thanks for the tip."

This was quite possibly the highlight of the month of November for me, and I felt compelled to share it with you. I hope you enjoyed it as much as I did.

Random Reminiscence

A few years ago, I spent a year in Texas studying under a pastor in the area. I learned a great deal about Scripture and theology and were it not for my time there, I probably would not be in seminary today. While I was there, I kept a blog to keep up with folks from back home. Remember Xanga? Yeah, it was lame, but it worked for my purposes.

Anyway, while I did learn much from my studies in the Lone Star state, perhaps some of my best memories were some of the random events that turned into some great stories. While I was there, I lived in a ranch with 19 other guys. It was the college dorm experience I never had, and needless to say, much hilarity resulted. I had forgotten about most of these until a few weeks ago, when I stumbled upon my old xanga site and got quite a chuckle. I realize that many of my friends now have never heard these stories, so over the next few weeks, I'm going to pick some of the best ones and republish them here. They won't be insightful (with perhaps one exception), but they will hopefully be entertaining and funny. So if you like embarrassing or ridiculous stories, most of which at my expense, you will love these posts. The first will be up later today. Enjoy!

Seasons Reasons?

Note: This is an article I wrote a few weeks ago and tried to get published in a few different places. I started a bit late (either that, or it's just not that good!), so I never got a response, but I did want to share it with those that come here. I might try and rework it next year and try again, but for now, it's for the blog faithful only. Hope you enjoy it!

Ginger bread. Mistletoe. Flying deer. A fat guy in a red suit. Elves.

What do all these things have in common? The birth of Jesus Christ, Son of God.

Really?

Have you ever looked at the culture that surrounds "the most wonderful time of the year" and scratched your head? How did we get here? What's the point of it all?

As I walk through the mall, my senses are assaulted from every angle with painfully obvious reminders of the season. Trudging through the department stores, I'm lost in a forest of fake trees with gaudy ornaments hanging from every possible limb. Strange songs flood the loudspeakers, containing very bizarre messages: a large, elderly man allegedly sees when I go to sleep and when I wake up, a mutant reindeer has supposedly been promoted in the arctic north, and someone is apparently trying to set chestnuts on fire … though I'm not sure what any of that has to do with Christmas.

As I drift along through the sea of commercialism in the holiday season, dodging Santa Clauses, Rudolphs, and lunatic bargain hunters, the question looms large in my mind: what does this have to do with Christmas? What really is the reason for the season?

Dozens of church signs and pastors preaching holiday sermons offer an answer. They know the true meaning of the season: it's not sales, gifts, baked hams, or even family gatherings, they say: it's Jesus. Jesus is the "reason for the season."

As a pithy saying, this is all well and good. It rhymes, it'll preach, and for all intents and purposes, it's a welcome reminder of what we truly celebrate. I wonder sometimes, however, if we have merely repeated these words in mantra-like fashion, thus robbing it of any meaning until it becomes little more than a trite slogan.

In fact, it seems that often we forget that Christ didn't take on flesh so he could hang out with some fishermen and give us some good quotes for a few thousand years. He didn't come because heaven was getting boring and he needed a change of scenery. No, the truth is much more profound. Jesus Christ was born of a virgin and lived among men because the world was lost in its own sin. Wickedness plagued the heart of mankind; and without a Savior, humanity was destined for perdition.

During a brief perusal of national news outlets, I came across the story of Jeremias Bins. In 2006, Bins became enraged that his wife and 11-year-old stepson were spending too much time at her church. In his anger, he beat them both to death with a hammer before driving to a police station to turn himself in.

Jeremias Bins is the reason for the season.

In my local newspaper, there was recently an article reporting on the civil conviction of Jarred Hensley, the vice-president of the Supreme White Alliance. He was convicted of assaulting Jordan Gruver, a U.S. citizen of Panamanian heritage, leaving him with permanent injuries. Hensley calls himself "an equal opportunity hater," and the Ku Klux Klan "soft," which should give you an idea of his outlook on life.

Jarred Hensley is the reason for the season.

The evil would be more comfortable if it were relegated to news stories and confined to only the extreme dregs of society. Personal experience has told me this is not the case. The evil that lies in Jeremias and Jarred lies in my own heart, albeit in different forms. This week I have lied, cheated, and coveted. I have neglected the poor, spurned justice, and hated my neighbor.

I am the reason for the season.

In proper perspective, Christmas is irrevocably tied to Easter. The celebration of the birth of Jesus can only be fully appreciated when viewed in light of his crucifixion and death to pay the debt of sin owed by all mankind. Otherwise, Christmas is confined to mere sentimentalism. It is a time of awe and wonder at the limitless mercy of God. When we view the evil and depravity of the world around us, we can truly appreciate the angels' song to the shepherds and the Magi's homage to the King of Kings. This is not a Hallmark card. This is the hope of the nations and the Savior of the world.

Jesus is indeed the reason for the season; but not merely the reason for our gifts and our celebration. He is the reason for our wonder, the reason for our hope, and the reason for our very life. May we never become so enamored with the cute baby Jesus lying in the manger that we forget the crucified Son of God who takes away the sin of the world.

Newsweek draws the battle lines

It appears as though the battle for gay marriage is going to be a messy one, and we are just seeing the beginning. Newsweek recently published an article (on the cover, no less), called "The Religious Case for Gay Marriage," and the editor has endorsed the publications stance on this issue. Albert Mohler has examined and picked apart (read: demolished) this article far better than I could, so I'll link the article itself on Newsweek's website, and his response in his blog.

First, though, here's some quotes (and my paraphrases) to get your blood boiling and to entice you to read on a bit. Lisa Miller, author of the article, writes,

"The Bible endorses slavery, a practice that Americans now universally consider shameful and barbaric. It recommends the death penalty for adulterers (and in Leviticus, for men who have sex with men, for that matter). It provides conceptual shelter for anti-Semites. A mature view of scriptural authority requires us, as we have in the past, to move beyond literalism. The Bible was written for a world so unlike our own, it's impossible to apply its rules, at face value, to ours."

In other words: Screw the Bible. Let's pick and choose some broad, vague themes like "love" and "justice" and justify our arguments that way.

"My friend the priest James Martin says his favorite Scripture relating to the question of homosexuality is Psalm 139, a song that praises the beauty and imperfection in all of us and that glorifies God's knowledge of our most secret selves: 'I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made.' And then he adds that in his heart he believes that if Jesus were alive today, he would reach out especially to the gays and lesbians among us, for 'Jesus does not want people to be lonely and sad.'"

In other words: Hey, this Psalm makes me feel happy! I bet it's about gays. Also, I might add that Jesus Christ took on flesh and was crucified so people could be happy, regardless of moral and religious norms. It's in the Bible!

"Twice Leviticus refers to sex between men as "an abomination" (King James version), but these are throwaway lines in a peculiar text given over to codes for living in the ancient Jewish world ..."

In other words: Hmmm, these are hard to make fit my point. Let's just throw them out!

And from the editor, perhaps the most ominous ...

"No matter what one thinks about gay rights—for, against or somewhere in between —this conservative resort to biblical authority is the worst kind of fundamentalism. Given the history of the making of the Scriptures and the millennia of critical attention scholars and others have given to the stories and injunctions that come to us in the Hebrew Bible and the Christian New Testament, to argue that something is so because it is in the Bible is more than intellectually bankrupt—it is unserious, and unworthy of the great Judeo-Christian tradition."

In other words: Actually, this one speaks pretty well for itself. If I could type the sound of a slap in the face of conservative Chrsitians everywhere, I would do so here.

Here's the links:

Gay Marriage: Our Mutual Joy -- Lisa Miller

Turning the Bible on its Head -- Albert Mohler