Today we salute you, Mr. Rhetorical Question Answerer. You know better than to sit quietly during a sermon. No, you narrate the subtleties for all those within four rows of you. After all, why do people ask questions if they're not meant to be answered? They don't, and you won't let them. Inner monologue? Who needs that? Not you. Even if there is no question asked, you've always got a "That's right!" or "Amen!" or "Tell 'em, now!" in your back pocket, ready to be said in a voice audible only to the guy next to you ... or shouted in a distracting manner. So here's to you, Mr. Unsolicited Sermon Feedback Person, 'cause no one states the obvious in a somewhat annoying manner quite like you.
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OK, quick disclaimer. I don't have a real problem with this, nor do I think there is an underlying issue that is dangerous or destructive. I just think it's kind of funny. In fact, I love Rhetorical Question Answerer because they can make any sermon entertaining, no matter how boring or ridiculous the speaker is. This is the guy/girl that is really into the sermon, and loves providing feedback, even if it's not audible to anyone but the people around them. It's not really insightful, or necessary, but it apparently helps them, so hey ... go for it. I'm just not much of a responsive person, so I find it fascinating.
While Rhetorical Question Answerer usually just makes me smile or occasionally feel a little uncomfortable (something about social norms being ignored just makes me cringe sometimes), the real gold is when a rhetorical question is answered incorrectly. You know what I'm talking about. RQA isn't paying a ton of attention, mishears or misunderstands the question, and murmurs a "no" when the speaker is obviously hinting at a "yes" (or vice versa). They quickly realize their mistake, get embarrassed because everyone heard them say the wrong thing, and good times are had by all.
But occassionally, if you're lucky, you'll see a rhetorical train wreck. This is when God has shown favor on your congregation, because nothing beats the awkwardness and hilarity of this moment. A quick story to illustrate my point:
I spent a year in Texas after graduating college to go through an intensive discipleship program, covering Old Testament and New Testament Bible study, systematic theology, church history, apologetics, hermeneutics, homiletics, etc. One day, our church history teacher, John Brown (one of the smartest guys I've ever heard), is lecturing on some of the early church Christological controversies. He was trying to illustrate the difficulty for the church fathers to understand a man who was both 100% man and 100% God. Admittedly, it's hard to get your mind around, even when studying the texts of the New Testament. So he asks a rhetorical question to get across the gravity of the situation. "So what do you do with the incarnate, pre-existent Son of God come to Earth?" Most of us understood his question. One of us, apparently, did not. This anonymous person (let's call him "Wes Ffolkes") answers loud enough for everyone to hear, "You kill him."
I cannot overstate how awkward this was. Everyone turned with mouth agape, shocked at the near blasphemy just uttered. John Brown stammered, "What???", then burst into maniacal laughter, as did the rest of us. "Wes" was trying to imply that the Pharisees and religious leaders, when confronted with Jesus, responded by killing him. Which is true, of course, but not ANYWHERE CLOSE to what was being discussed. RQA strikes again. (I should note that "Wes" is a great guy, was liked by all, and this was not the norm for him. But he will never live this one down.)
So, the moral of the story is: if you answer a question, just be sure it's the right one. Or people will blog about you three years later. If you have a funny RQA story, please share in the comments, it could be great fun for all.
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