Why Non-Americans Shouldn't Talk Crap Like Americans

Part 2 of my NBA/Europe post is coming later today or maybe tomorrow, but I have to stop and comment on the Olympic 4x100 meter freestyle relay last night. If you haven't seen it yet, you need to. Now. I have no idea where they're replaying it, but it's worth watching. I woke up yesterday at 4:30 AM CST in St. Louis, and stayed up to watch this come on at 11:30 PM EST. Probably not my smartest moment, but it was worth it.

What makes it so great is that the French decided to run their mouths. At the Olympics. Apparently Alain Bernard, the French anchor for the team, pre-emptively put his foot in his mouth last week with these words: "The Americans? We're going to smash them. That's what we came here to do."

Bad idea.

Nobody excels at beating other people and letting them know about it like Americans. It's one of the things that makes this country great. We don't just win. We win loudly. And last night, we showed that no one else should really try and take that mantle from us. Even though France was the odds-on favorite to win the event, I knew that you don't give us that kind of bulletin board material without paying for it.

Michael Phelps led off the relay, but failed to make a significant lead for the Americans. Garret Webber-Gale pulled out to a slight lead in the second leg, only for Cullen Jones to give it up in the third leg. Everything was going as France, and everyone else, expected. So when Bernard entered the water with a .6 second lead on Jason Lezak in the anchor leg, and proceeded to stretch it to nearly a full body length, I kinda thought we were screwed.

Then Lezak went all "American" on us and torched it. He didn't lead until the last tenth of a second, but the last 50 meters was epic, as he gained on Bernard each stroke, finally touching him out at the wall.

But as amazing as the race was (I've probably never been so excited about a swimming relay in my life, including 10 years of my own races), what I love is the interview afterward, the only place where Americans excel more than on the field, court, or wherever their sport is played. Michael Phelps referred to their competitors as "the Frenchies," and Webber-Gale admitted, "I was pounding on the block, saying the 'f-word.'"

I love America.

For further reading, I highly recommend Pat Forde's article on ESPN.com.

Oh, by the way, Bernard? Your dignity called. It misses you. It wanted to know when you guys could hang out again. My advice, dignity? Give it a couple of weeks.